March 11th again
Mar. 11th, 2026 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
figuringoutmy20sI've been thinking more about this ADHD thing and what the psychiatrist told me.
I told her I've been using cannabis a lot heavier than usual recently and she said it would be best if I didn't use it at all since it can worsen symptoms. I do see this in myself, but at the same time I actually felt sad at the thought of quitting all the way. And just that feeling itself made me feel a little bit worse and more guilty about my usage. I know that it's really not a good thing for me to be abusing this substance, but I don't want to give up that fuzzy feeling of being in a calm happy place in my mind, even if it leaves me feeling worse when I sober up. There's really nothing else like it for me.
Am I really an addict? I mean, it sure does sound like it when I put it that way.
I guess it just feels weird to say you're addicted to weed when everybody says it's not possible. It's like downplaying what's really going on, and makes you feel silly for even thinking it's a problem, but at the same time the weird, gross feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this" is gnawing away.
I'll try to stay sober tonight because i have a lot of work to do.
I told her I've been using cannabis a lot heavier than usual recently and she said it would be best if I didn't use it at all since it can worsen symptoms. I do see this in myself, but at the same time I actually felt sad at the thought of quitting all the way. And just that feeling itself made me feel a little bit worse and more guilty about my usage. I know that it's really not a good thing for me to be abusing this substance, but I don't want to give up that fuzzy feeling of being in a calm happy place in my mind, even if it leaves me feeling worse when I sober up. There's really nothing else like it for me.
Am I really an addict? I mean, it sure does sound like it when I put it that way.
I guess it just feels weird to say you're addicted to weed when everybody says it's not possible. It's like downplaying what's really going on, and makes you feel silly for even thinking it's a problem, but at the same time the weird, gross feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this" is gnawing away.
I'll try to stay sober tonight because i have a lot of work to do.
